Your Number-One Source For
Something ? I'll let you know
just what that is
,
once I think of it...
In any event,
besides being the only site guaranteed to put someone into an
epileptic coma thanks to the Banner, this site is an
all-in-one source for all my varying written archives,
including my full Wrestling content as seen at The
Wrestling
Fan.com , to all my blog content, ridiculous
commentaries
, Movie & Game reviews
, and everything
in-between. This website is like a homeless shelter for the truly
disturbed.
This content
itself is divided up into three pages. You can access
those pages through the Flash menu to the above right of this page.
But just in case you don't have Flash enabled on your
computer, and only have like 15 minutes before you and
your Commodore 64 are whisked back into 1985 from whence
you came, those pages are as follows:
PRO
WRESTLING~!:
Featuring almost every wrestling column, satire,
recap and review I've ever posted at TWF (I'll eventually
have them all up). If you love the antics of dudes who wear
dew rags and weightlifter's belts 24 hours a day and cannot
change articles of clothing without first tearing them from
their orange heaving bodies, this is the section for you.
Click HERE for
teasers and links to all my wrestling
archives!
POP CULTURE &
REVIEWS:
Featuring
everything not-wrestling. Kind of! Reviews, Celeb bashing
Bloggery, Top 10 lists and parodies alike. Click HERE
for those teasers & links. More to come
eventually.
STUPIDITY:
The final resting
place of my completely disenfranchised insanity. If it's dumb
and doesn't really fit anywhere, this is where you'll find it.
From Cardboard Fathers returning from the Middle East to my
vendetta against moppy haired children, it's all here. 60% of
the time, it's worth checking out all the time. Click
HERE
for that.
Or, below, you can
sample 4 of my most recent offerings. I will
have new content up frequently, so keep checking back!. Enjoy!
Hopefully! Please
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**JUST
UPDATED October 24,
2008**
 QUICK & DIRTY
RECAPITATION:Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship
Wrestling
Week 1: Down to the
Basics.
PREFACE: I hate reality TV. I
deplore it. Survivor is the same exact fucking show for
8 years straight. "Man, did you see that Episode of
Survivor where those filthy shirtless people did
that stunt while that one person schemed and betrayed
people they promised to stick by?"  YES, YOU HAVE. Every
week. FOREVER. It's the same types of people doing the
same exact same shit year after year. NOTHING
EVER
CHANGES.
Then, after some
deep reflecting, I realized that, holy shit,
that whole line of thinking also describes my
beloved wrestling, so I quickly shut my hole. So,
ya, here we are. An unholy union between wrestling
& reality TV, and me actually covering
it in my special little retarded way. Who'd have
thunk it? Everybody? Maybe. Let's get to
it~!
"In the world of professional wrestling,
one man is King: Hulk Hogan." Just ignore
the part where he had to abdicate his umm, throne
because he tore his ACL getting off the
sofa....
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**JUST
UPDATED
SEPT. 23 /2008**
SEAN'S TWF SOUR
25!
Obviously
spoofing WWE's "Power25", TWF Sour 25 ranks the Top 25
(Bottom 25?) wrestling offenders, blunderers, idiots or
the just plain misfortunate of the week in classic TWF
style. Just who clocked in at number one this week, and
why?
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**JUST
UPDATED July 7,
2008**
BLOOD
SPORT.
YEAR:
1988.
STARRING:
Jean-Claude Van Damme, Donald Gibb, Forest
Whitaker, Bolo Yeung.
RATED:
R; For Violence, Nudity,
Mullets.
It is the
year of our lord, 1988. A truly glorious
time. A time where sunglasses were the size of
solar panels and t-shirts changed magical colors! A time
where all the best parties were in the back, whilst
business was always on top. A time where you
could wear a muscle shirt (despite having no muscles), a
fanny pack and the biggest fucking pair of
zebra-striped Zubaz pants you've ever seen in your
life, and still not get punched right in
the face for being a complete douchebag. It was truly a
great time to look ridiculous. No one would
dare tell US
that
our red faux-leather jackets with 60 zippered pockets were not
as tremendously cool as we thought they were-- because we
were clueless. I mean, we wore pink shirts with
Alligators over the big floppy pockets for fuck sakes.
What did we really know? Not much, it turns
out. For we were sheltered from the harsh realities that were
yet to come. Those harsh realities?
Well, we all looked like shit for one. That was a
given. And despite President Reagan's bold
claims on economic reform, the only thing to
"trickle down" into my
stylin' acid-wash-laden pockets were big balls
of lint. However, there were other revelations
to come, with ramifications so deep that they were
like a really witty parable of something being
really deep that I can't think of. And they
shook my generation to its very neon-jammer wearing
cores. It was a scene,
man.....
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**JUST UPDATED
MAY 15 /2008**
THE "A" STANDS FOR ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT, ALL RIGHT...
Guess who's rumored to be
playing Captain America? Don't know? Well, it'd be
coooooler if ya did... because, the big rumor out of
Tinsel-town right now is that the announced 2011
adaptation of
CAPTAIN
AMERICA, just may star good ole Wooderson
himself, MatthewMcConaughey! And I say, why
not? He wouldn't even need the Serum. You
could just light him a big fat red white and
blue bowl, and he'd become just as impervious to
injury. And if not? Well, he won't remember shit come
morning anyway. I'm telling you, it'd save the
government MILLIONS. Ok, tens of thousands. There'd
likely stilly be a huge grant needed to cover all the
bags of Funyons and raw cookie-dough required to
maintain Caps'
sustenance....
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