THE SCARIEST
PICTURE YOU'LL SEE TODAY...
Dear Lord. I think it's
fair to say that there's a little more than Beta-carotene
flowin' through Carrot Top's bloodstream here. Just
saying. Poor guy looks like someone injected massive amounts
of HGH into that fucking chick from Wendy's. And holy shit,
those gotta be the scariest soup bones (mmm, Carrot Soup) I've
ever seen in my life. At this point, Carrot could probably
produce full-size S.U.V.'s from his trunk o' hilarity and then
proceed to physically launch them into the atmosphere when
he's done his act. You know, right before he juggled God on
stage. Just because he can.
Now, normally, I'd blame
my favorite comic book stand-by, the dreaded GAMMA RAYS (which
by the way only give you superhuman abilities and not cancer.
Trust me) for Carrot Top's rapid super-human growth spurt, but
I think that perhaps something else is afoot here. (although,
his father WAS a SCIENTIST FOR NASA. So it IS possible.).
That said, the more I
look at Carrot, the more I'm reminded of someone else. WAIT A
SECOND. It couldn't be. COULD IT?
....
...
...
...
...
THUNDER.
THUNDER.
THUNDER.
THUNDERCATS!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tell me I'm wrong.
Oh my god. It's uncanny. And completely terrifying. I wonder
if there's a sword that can grant me the complete opposite of
'Sight beyond sight'? It might come in handy right now to burn
the images from my mind's eye that'll likely haunt me forever.
But hey, hats (unruly bushy red manes?) off to Carrot here
anyway for pulling it off. Having a huge broad sword capable
of giving you sight beyond your wildest imagination (and not
just to see all the people in the back rows not laughing) just
might come in handy for the first heckler stupid enough to try
and disrupt his set. Well, so long as that heckler isn't a
giant grayish
blue muscle-bound Mummy, with a strange quasi-SCOTTISH ACCENT
(and not Egyptian. Because Lord knows Scotland was known for
their Mummification). Because if that's the case, he's fucked.
Good luck stopping the 4 Ancient Spirits of Evil armed only
with a trunk full of pants with ball scoops sewn into the
crotch. It's an uphill battle. No doubt. Normally, I'd say
he'd have the other Thundercats to back him up, but I'm pretty
sure Cheetara just used her short-term speed burst to get the
fuck out of dodge after seeing that opening picture. Clearly,
we should have followed her example.
SNARF.
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