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 INSANE RANT OF THE DAY:
FACEBOOK
"GIFTS".
Just a note. Save your money. Stop sending
me "Gifts" through Facebook. Your dollar could go
to much better causes. Like say, sending it
directly to me; or I don't know, BUYING ME
SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY EXISTS. But hey,
if you actually did that, that'd mean I
wouldn't get a PICTURE OF A
CUPCAKE on my page. And well, I don't
think I could live with the fact, that I, unlike
everyone else, would be the one social pariah
whose entire page is not littered with
pictures of gifts instead of actual gifts.
And I don't know about you, but I'm just not ready
to undertake the social and psychological burden
that would invoke.
I guess what I'm trying
to say is that You and Facebook owe me an actual
physical cupcake. I don't care what the
repercussions and ramifications of such a bold
task are, but next time I'm promised the gift of
baked goods, you better fucking deliver. And don't
even get me started on this Giraffe shit I've been
getting on my page. What kind of shitty gift is
that? Who gives Giraffe's as gifts? It
doesn't even make any sense. As a matter of fact,
it reminds me of the time I asked my Dad for a
Nintendo in 1986 and instead he got me a fucking
Zebra. Ok, he never did that. But he could
have. And by god, if he did, I'd break its
noble spirit and ride it like a horse, because,
damn it, it's a fucking horse irregardless of what
scientists will tell you. But still, my point
stands. And that point is... something?
I'll let you know when I figure it out.
So,
in closing, keep the Booze-mail, ribbons, and
fucking zombie invitations to yourself, mister.
And if you're in the market to get me a gift, dear
lord, get me a *real* one. The kind that actually
exist, or at the very least can be traded in
without your knowledge for something of actual
monetary value. I can draw a fucking picture,
thank you very little. I should be eating your
magnanimous gesture right now. But instead?
Nothing. Way to go. You like totally dropped the
ball. Or Cupcake as it were.
Oh, and P.S.,
Your "Fun Walls" aren't that fun. Someone had to
say it.
Sean
Carless.
Professional
Truth-Teller. | | |  |
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