We'll BEND OVER BACKWARDS to
please our customers! Or any other position
you'd prefer. We're flexible! (Hopefully, you
are as well).
Keep your
"Faarooq" safe from disease with the
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Condoms! Guaranteed to protect
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APA Condoms are made of from an
impenetrable synthetic material (much like
the divas) and are GUARANTEED to last as
long as you do in the showers when you cop an
"attitude".
Order now, and
you''l get a complimentary roll of DUCT TAPE, a
Blindfold, and fifteen feet of rope!
Bradshaw
Testimonial:"Just because
you sexual assault rookies with no
caring for their physical and mental well-being,
doesn't mean you shouldn't be responsible about
it. Daggoneit. I mean, come on. That's just
plain common sense. You never know
where that disgusting Billy Silverman may have
been!"
Faarooq Testimonial: "
DAMN!" (he then started crying immediately
after, blubbering something about "I have so
much more to offer...why won't anyone ever
listen.)."
$5.99 per box. Plus more to keep
your indiscretions quiet.
MARK HENRY'S "MAH STANK"
DEODORANT.
For those times when you stink up
more than the ring!
He's Mark Henry, He's the World's
Strongest man... but now he doesn't have to be!
Go ahead and roll on some Stank today
and make a big splash with the ladies!
(literally, he only knows that, and maybe a
bearhug).
$ 4.99 or best offer; Deodorant
guaranteed to last maybe a stretch of 3
to 4 months before disintegrating. You
know, much like Mark Henry
himself.
RODDY
PIPER SILVERWARE SET!
Stainless steel and durable, and
GUARANTEED to outlive the Hot Rod
himself!
Roddy Piper says :"The
spoons even heat up to like 350 degrees, no
problem! You gonna finish
that?"
Whether it be copious amounts food
consumed to keep up the strange swollen
pregnant-like torso you've given birth to
literally out of nowhere, or you just have the
SICKNESS and require a knife that can easily cut
through congealed rock cocaine, these utensils
are ideal for all situations! Even cutting
through COCONUTS, in the event you wish to
save a piece for later after culturally
humiliating a proud man from the
Islands!
Just $29.99! And if you act
now, Roddy will even throw in a
complimentary Skillet* for those lonely nights
on the road.
*Crack sold
separately.
* Not the hands of The Big
Show.
ROB VAN DAM FLOWER
POT!
Introducing from the Rob Van Dam
hydroponic collection, the brand new Rob Van Dam
Flower Pot! Because, who knows more about pot
then R-V-D?
RVD says: " Duuuuude, just
because you're like totally wasted, doesn't
mean your flowers have to be. Now, be a bud,
heh-heh, BUD , and pass me those
Cheetoes , would
ya..."
Act now, and Rob will throw in a
half-eaten tube of raw cookie dough,
completely FREE. $4.20 plus S &
H.
THE TRIPLE H
SHOVEL!
Introducing
the first line of HHH gardening
instruments!It does the JOB so you don't have
to!
Each shovel is forged
from stainless steel and the broken spirits
of the mid-card, and can carry up to 100
pounds of top soil in one scoop! Or just enough
to make sure Booker T is no longer credible as a
main eventer. Ahem.
So, if time is an issue, as
you've just literally flown into a PPV to win
the World Title despite not being on TV for 2
months because you filmed Blade
Trinity, this is definitely the
all-purpose tool for you. And who knows
more about TOOLS then The Game? He did after all
date a woman of questionable gender for 3 years.
The choice is obvious! Unless that choice is
umm, "Maybe we need new blood in the main
event". You shouldn't listen to that. Trust
us.
Triple H Testimonial:
"People always ask me how I bury so easily*
and efficiently...well, now you
know!"
*Not related to fucking the boss's
daughter one iota. Nope.
$100.00 plus S &
H;
Coming soon:
Triple
H glass ceiling! Made from unbreakable
glass that's been extensively pressure
tested on Rob Van Dam, Booker T & Chris
Jericho! Quality guaranteed, or no money back.
(Because if someone else was on top, dear god,
can you imagine? We'd probably go
bankrupt!).
TRISH
STRATUS KLEENEX
"TRISHUES"
Introducing the brand new
TRISH STRATUS BRAND BOX OF KLEENEX! Easy clean
up, for those hard to explain situations! And
let's face it, it's just about as close as
your fat ass will ever come to her
"box".
Trish Stratus says:
"Just because I get Raw on Monday Nights
doesn't mean you should
too."
100 % Stratusfaction
guaranteed. Chafing
too. $3.99.
APA PROTECTION
CONDOMS.