|
 SMACKDOWN
VS.
RAW 2008
REVIEW
That's right
Wrestling fans, and Wrestling Game fans, and fans of The
Wrestling Fan, and fans of reviews by the Wrestling Fan
of Wrestling games for Wrestling fans, I am your noble
host Sean Carless, and welcome to the official TWF
review of THQ's newest entry in the celebrated
Smackdown series, "WWE
Smackdown vs. RAW 2008!" Now Featuring ECW.
Their official catchphrase is "How
will you play?"; and if you're anything
like the list of shmoes I've spent the better part of
the two days competing against, the answer is probably
"really terribly". But hey, that doesn't mean this game
is. Anything but, actually. And I'd be lying if I said I
didn't derive hours of enjoyment from it. And not just
because it finally gave me a legal avenue in which
I could potentially run down Vince
McMahon with a car, or set him on fire. I
swear.
That said, I
have to take my hat off to THQ here, but only for a
second because it's covering an unsightly bald spot, as
with each new game they release, they seem to at least
improve somewhat on the previous incarnation. This is
the case once again. There's still quite a few issues,
sure, some that obviously need to be re-tooled, or in
some cases completely overhauled (That I will get to
shortly), but for the most part, THQ has once again
delivered a game that can be played again and again,
with no waning of enthusiasm. Not too many games can
make that claim. And that's what usually sets Wrestling
titles apart from other games. With most titles, once
you complete the designated mission, the game becomes
somewhat obsolete and boring. Not these games. They
contain so many varying possibilities of continuous
game-play and custom creativity that you can keep going
back, creating your own really terribly self-designed
CAW (Create-A-Wrestler), loading his awkward ass with
way too much apparel, and then taking that hopeless
eye-sore to the World Title, time and time again! And
all without certain people in the front office whose
name rhyme with, umm, John Laurinaitis, telling you that
you have the wrong look, and don't know how to work main
event style. Although, they're right. You're
ridiculous.
Had Kane just made copies of
that evil videotape 7 days before, this whole
sorted mess could have been
avoided. | Anyway, Wrestling Games have always grabbed me, and every
November, I find myself buying whatever title
has been released. From the good old days of
wrestlers with non-defined catcher's mitts for hands in
WWF War Zone, to Giant 9 foot anorexic,
pigment-free Andrew "Test" Martin's in original
SmackDown, to an entire year of career-mode
storylines culminating in a usually silent,
masked-Kane of all people telling Vince McMahon to
"Shut his Mouth", I have become
unconditionally HOOKED on these games. I don't know
what it is. Perhaps, I, much like CM Punk, am
ADDICTED TO COMPETITION? It's true. I've tried
getting myself and Punker booked on A&E's
intervention, but thus far, no dice. Apparently "alcohol
abuse" and "drug dependency" take precedence over an
inane need to apply top wristlocks and jump off really
high objects. Oh well.
That said,
I may not know what it is about these games
that grab me so much, but what I do know is, if you
thought it was difficult enough before explaining
to your Girlfriend why you watch sweaty dudes in their
underwear roll around with one another every Monday,
Tuesday and Friday, try then explaining from
there, why you then spend 3 MORE HOURS
EVERY DAY pretending to be these same
Speedo-laden heroes. And, ya, also try explaining to her
what the Hell was going on when you were
accidentally busted tossing a CAW likeness of her to her
demise off the top of the Hell in the Cell. Trust me. It
wasn't pretty. But hey, neither is she, so no harm no
foul. (I'm single, ladies! *Ahem*.).
"I'm still Hungry! Bring me
more Tag
teams!" |
So, this
takes us to the game in question. And the best part
is, to my knowledge, this is the first WWE game
ever available on EVERY SINGLE current gaming
console. So, if you possess
the incessant need to physically
pantomime Bobby Lashley on your Wii, throwing virtual
clotheslines, convincing neighbors that catch glimpse of
your spastic uncoordinated histrionics through the
window that you're either epileptic, retarded or
both, that's clearly your business. I
personally chose both the X-Box 360 and PS3, my two
current favorite systems to test this bad boy out on.
And not just because it's the only systems I own. Not
even.
So, join me
now as we break this mother down. It's Smackdown vs. RAW 2008!:
The closest thing to really being in the
ring!... minus being pinned, with two more of your
friends, by Triple H, at the same time. Just
because. I don't make the rules.
TIME TO PLAY GAME
WHAHAHA:
There are several new
wrinkles to the game this year, and no I don't
mean a newer rendition of that aging Stark
ravin' Hulkster, dude. By that I mean, THQ has once
again tweaked the controls. Why they decided to change
this, and not say alter
the A.I., so guys don't repeatedly commit suicide off
the sides of the Elimination Chamber like crazed
lemmings is beyond me. But in this case, based on last
year's alterations to the control settings, it has
definitely been significantly
improved and
simplified.This time around, the right stick
plays even more of a prominent role in the game,
primarily with the introduction of the new "struggle submission
system"; and no, that's not another term for
how Mike Tyson likes to end his dates, but rather a
newer, more realistic approach to applying submission
holds. Now when you're grinding your foe into submission
on the mat, you will pull or push the right trigger
in the direction in which will administer more pain. The
more tenaciously you move the stick, the more
pressure is applied. It's that simple. Got the
guy in a Boston Crab? Well, pull back in the
opposite direction, and stretch those legs, chief. Soon
he'll resemble the absolutely real giant crustaceans
found on the Massachusetts sea board that look like
upside down men with legs behind their heads screaming
in anguish. Such a creature HAS to exist for wrestling
to create a wrestling hold in its honor, right?
Right?
In any event, this newer
simplified system brings a new level of realism to the
games. If only applying realistic holds was that
simple in real life. I'm sure guys like the Miz wish it
was. There's no proper button combinations in
real-life to simplify what he thinks it
is he's doing out there. Anyway, on the opposite end
of the spectrum, to escape the holds
once they're applied to YOU? it's basically
the same deal. You rock that bad boy until somehow
you squirm free or get to the ropes for the clean
break. So, this pretty much ends all
the button mashing you usually see in these
scenarios. However, it has done little to dissuade
my immature poor-sportsmanship and constant cursing and
yelling while my wrestler is trapped in submission
holds. I still demand he not quit under threat that
I will destroy him in CAW edit as if he's a real person.
I clearly have issues. But he still should know
better.
Sadly, this would be the very
last time Mr. Kennedy asked Ric if he wanted to go
Bowling. | That said, besides the submission holds,
right trigger is
pretty much used for everything. Including to
access your Ultimate
Control Move (mine for the record is
telling girlfriends that they're losing their looks
and that they'll never get a man like me again
who'll accept all their foibles), which is now
accomplished by pushing up on right trigger,
followed by R3. This will now allow
you to manipulate the poor bastard that much easier
to drag him over and say, ram him
face-first into the steel steps, or throw his ass
onto the announce table. From there, you can then
just pretend it's the now-forgotten Spanish version, and
dedicate your impending wanton destruction to the
non-existent pixilated Hugo and Carlos, who'd no doubt
be scurrying for their very animated lives at this
moment.
Another HUGE change to the game is
that every WWE Superstar is now defined by a unique fighting style. The
Showman for
flashier moves and crowd-pleasing histrionics; Dirty for well, guys who
don't like to play by the rules; Technical for guys who
do; High
Flying, for guys like Rey Mysterio; Brawler for guys
who, you got it, brawl; Hardcore for guys who use
weapons and no doubt enjoy full penetration in their
pornography; Submission
Artist for those who use submission holds, then
no doubt have the artistic ability to paint and sculpt
detailed interpretations of said holds, or maybe just
first part; and of course Powerhouse, for those big,
strong, slower moving guys who no doubt only have
their job based solely on the fact that they're the only
guys on earth for whom Spandex is not one size fits all.
(cough*MarkHenry*cough).
"The bottom lines" as our friend
Santino Marella would say is that each wrestler's unique
fighting style basically prevents that
superstar from doing uncharacteristic things
they'd sooner NEVER do. Like Rey Mysterio giving a
tombstone to Kane for example, or Triple H
graciously putting over new talent. Or maybe just
they Rey one. I heard they tried the latter
but apparently like raising Bobby Lashley's charisma
stats, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. After all, THQ
aren't miracle workers!
That said,
each wrestler you create gets to choose from TWO of
these distinct styles, with one acting as his
primary
style. The only real drawback is the lack
of full explanation or tutorial on how to master
the unique nuances of each style. There's some basic
tutorials available in the game, but for the most
part, you'll have to play it by ear. However, once
you do somehow figure it out, it rules all kinds of Ass.
Or just one kind, since asses are all kind of
the same when you get down to it. For instance, when
playing as a known rule-breaker like Randy Orton or
Edge, you can beg off, and use the Referee as a human
shield, and then toss him into your unsuspecting
opponent. And when playing as say, Mysterio, you can
quickly pull off desperation pins in dire situations
like the dreaded POSSUM
PIN. I've personally never been rolled into a
complicated cradle by possums while trying to shoe them
off my property, but if WWE says that rodents possesses
keen catch-as-catch can wrestling skills, who am I to
argue?
Needless to say, John Cena
and Rey Mysterio's new take on Dicken's 'A
Christmas Carol' didn't exactly impress
Producers... | And while we're speaking of moves, there's a
SLEW of new holds to choose from here. Hell, there's
even a new RKO, where you catch a wrestler jumping off
the top rope and counter it in mid-air into an RKO!
Awesome. However, unfortunately for Randy, there's
still no tweaks to his vaunted chin-lock.
So, you'll have to be content in just being
really really boring with only one kind of
rest-hold. Oh well.
Another great
new addition is the "Hall
Of Fame" mode, where you can relive 12 specific
historic WWE moments, which will in turn help you unlock
certain purchasable items. Some of these 12
historic moments in question include beating Steve
Austin in an "I quit match"; and yes, in this case, he
still shows up when finds out he's scheduled to lose;
and HBK beating Bret Hart at Wrestlemania 12
in an Iron-Man match... that subsequently sent him
on a downward spiral to tragedy and despair and in
essence wrecked his life forever. YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN.
There's not too many games out there that
allow you to retroactively break a human
being's spirit and desire completely, so hats off to THQ
here. The best part though, is that unlike other
previous version of "Iron Man" in the
previous games, you don't have to toil around
bored for an hour straight, because they're now in
10-20 minute intervals. Just enough time for you to
decimate your competition without the worry of
growing tired of repeatedly pinning them. Anyone without
the last name Hearst-Helmsley will
likely appreciate this one.
The rest of the match modes
are your usual suspects, ranging from Hell in the Cell,
First Blood, TLC, and Elimination Chamber.
Hell, even the
"Buried Alive match" is back again. Thankfully sans the
awkward burying of the real-life "just
expired" Eddie Guerrero like in 2006's version. And no,
a certain GUY WHO NEVER EXISTED is not available in
this game, so no chance of repeating that macabre moment
again with the Wolverine, who if JR's commentary for the
last 7 years is to be believed was RABID. WWE
wouldn't lie to us. Stop this steroids and concussion
business, media. And look into the real culprit: RABIES.
And hell, look for the animal (Batista? George Steele?
Joe Lauranaitis?) that infected him in the first place!
It's not too late!
Anyway, THQ
has a very decent line-up of match types available. But
basically bar one that I'll get to shortly, they're the
exact same match-types we've seen in the past 4
games. For the record, what's once again absent
though, is the Divas "Fulfill your Fantasy"
match from 2006. Go figure. You remember that, right?
You know, the match where the only way to win was
to strip the woman to her underwear and bend her over
and spank her bare ass? Maybe that's not that bad
of an idea to scrap that one.Turns out women don't
actually appreciate that in real-life as much as
you'd think they would. Believe me, I know. Maybe
next time I'll introduce myself first. Wish me
luck.
However, that
all said, the BEST game mode, and in my-ever-so-humble
opinion, the selling
feature for this particular title is the
addition of the ECW Rules
match. Finally, a realistic depiction of what
ECW is supposed to be. So
for those of you born after 1994 who *really wanted* to
re-enact a really "exciting" tête-à-tête
between Kevin Thorn and Mike Knox, umm, sucks to be you?
Instead, THQ has brought back the classic ECW
environment, (only the wrestlers get paid here, I
presume) with all sorts of HARDCORE HI-JINKS abounding.
That's right, fans will literally hold up weapons for
you to grab and pummel your opposition with. And if
that's not enough, there's an all-new weapon system
in place in this match. Now when you stick your grubby
paws under the ring, it'll access a weapon wheel, from
which you can then choose the item you wish to part
your foe's hair with. This is a HUGE improvement over
choosing the same exact weapon time and time again. The
only drawback, at least to me, is that the weapons once
again, after being expunged of their usefulness,
just glow and disappear forever. Who designed that
function? OJ Simpson? That would clearly come in
handy for him, I guess.
A word of warning: Never
leave Kane hanging when he demands a High-
Five. | But wait, that's not all! There is one more
caveat to this mode that bowls the rest over: FIRE. Yes, it's true. Now
you can light barb-wired covered 2X4's and even tables
on FIRE! Those of us addicted to Rasslin' gaming will
remember the last time fire was used in a U.S. game was
ECW's Anarchy Rulz for original Playstation. Only unlike
that game,
this game's version only leads to an easy
pin, and not the screaming, agonizing ultimate demise of
Little Guido Maritato, physically disintegrating in the
ring encompassing blaze. Those of you who played
that game will know EXACTLY what I'm talking
about.
The Career
mode has also undertaken some radical changes. It's now
combining GM mode and Career mode into one mutant
hybrid known as the 24/7 mode. You
can play as a GM, putting together matches, drafting
superstars, and running the day to day nuances of a
wrestling promotion... and all without being sabotaged
by Stephanie McMahon, who rapes your brand of any of its
originality and appeal and forces you to build the show
around three dancing bimbos. Glad we cleared that up.
The other side sees your WWE superstar of choice, or
no-name hero of your creating, attempt to
battle their way to Legend status. The real
hard part though is preventing your superstar from
getting injured. If you run the poor bastard ragged, in
an attempt to gain the most dolla dolla bills (Tm. Teddy
Long) possible, that's exactly what will
happen. You'll get an email from the GM stating that
your Superstar has suffered an injury and will
in turn miss X number of weeks. The problem arising
though is that he doesn't miss that time, and you'll be
forced to wrestle hurt anyway, starting all your
bouts in the red, and being more prone to
defeat and further injury! Man, someone needs to
give Nancy Grace a call! This is outrageous!
Where's Marc Mero with his revised list of
deceased animated wrestlers when you need him to
put an end to this by gawd chicanery?
Anyway,
despite the injury handicap, if you wrestle
smartly, there's still a chance you can prevail, but
make one mistake and well, you're toast.
It can definitely lead to a tedious amount of
helplessness. I'm not really bothered by it as much,
because I wrestle incredibly dirty anyway, but I
understand how someone might not dig
it.(Sucka).
For the
record, someone told me (I'm still not
sure) that you can rehab your Superstar by sending
him for massages and what not, but this apparently
affects your popularity. I think I know what they
mean. I always lose my appeal when I go for massages.
Maybe it's because I keep turning over and asking
for a happy ending? I'm not allowed back now. Did I do
it wrong?
As for the
storylines themselves, truth be told, I haven't gotten
too deep yet, so I cannot condemn or praise
it completely. Hopefully, though, unlike
last year, you won't have to compete in a
nonsensical ladder match with Chris Masters(?!).
Who'd ever book that? I can only hope that much like
THQ's Smackdown Here Comes the Pain in 2003, this
version includes Classic Undertaker having the
opportunity to umm, "bury a stiff" with Torrie Wilson
in the locker-room shower. That was the
single greatest thing EVER in the entire
history of Wrestling themed video games, and one I dare
say, other than Goldberg disturbingly drinking from a
milk hose in the very same game, can never be equaled or
surpassed again.
That said, unfortunately,
much like it's been in the last few
years, this career mode (at least from what I've
observed thus far) is pretty
much basically the same old repetition of
identical storylines no matter what character
you choose. And to add a little bit of ironic humor
to the proceedings, often, you'll find yourself
suddenly palling around with the same dude who
vehemently tried to murder you not a few minutes before.
That's sweet. I mean, why not
respectfully greet and shake the hand of the
dude who just attacked you and put you in a wheelchair
after trying to kill you with a car? Who'd hold grudges
over something that trivial?
Oh, and before
I forget, you'll be happy to know that
no matter how long you play, it stays 2008 forever. But hey, that's
expected, I guess. After all, the real WWE's been
"1998" for ten years now. But still, flaws aside,
it's an enjoyable experience, and for once, a relatively
tough odyssey to complete. That's a bonus where I come
from (parts unknown for the record). Anything that
prolongs my gaming experience is a good thing in my
book. So, when the paramedics find my body this
weekend in a frozen, deformed rigor-mortis-like
state like that dude from The Ring, you'll have THQ to
thank.
Create-A-Superstar is pretty much
the exact same as it was last year, bar a few
cool new props like a Cobra Commander hood~! There's
also less face-paints, but more hairdo's. So, if
you for some reason once again feel compelled to make
Harry Potter or Victoria Beckham's husband for no
logical reason, their hair do's (hair don'ts?) are
all there.
The bodies,
also like last year, are better mapped and can once
again be adorned with disturbing butter-like sheen. My
only issue, and one that I have had for almost every
game this engine has produced, is that as far as body
types go, you cannot realistically reproduce a truly
morbidly obese wrestler. You can only build your created
player to a certain bulk, so re-creating say,
a Yokozuna CAW is impossible, realism wise. I mean,
so much for creating a realistic depiction of the
average online wrestling critic. The unwavering
negativity and feeling of self-importance just
won't be the same without the corresponding bulk that
makes him a true member of the IWC. (Internet Wrestling
Community).
The rest of
the Create-A-Whatever modes are also similar with a
couple of MAJOR exceptions. One is CREATE-A-BELT.
Not only are there all new templates to choose
from, but now you can actually watch two CPU opponents
face off for your
belt, and it can even be put
into tournaments,etc. This is a HUGE improvement in my
opinion. Because sometimes, you just want to watch two
no-hopers kick the crap out of each other for little
reward, bar a belt that's meaningless to everyone
else in the world. Or maybe that's just how Vince
McMahon books the Cruiserweight division. I can't
remember.
The OTHER
huge change, and by god, for the better, is that in
the X-Box version you can FINALLY derive music from your
hard-drive to give your CAW's unique theme music! This
makes me so unbelievably happy, as finally, I can create a CAW of
yours me'ly that can enter the fracas to the melodious
sounds of Tiny Tim's " Living In The Sunlight, Loving In
The Moonlight".
Unfortunately though, for PS3'ers, this is NOT an
option. Boo. There's really no excuse for it, honestly,
as PS3 has a larger hard drive. The PS2, I'd
understand, for obvious reasons. But the PS3? Come
on. The saving grace though is that PS3 does have a first person mode
for ring entrances. You still can't see ringside
fans laughing and pointing at the hideousness of your
created player, but it's as close to reality as you're
going to get. But it's still not the same without
custom music. I guess those of us who choose to
break out the PS3 version, will just have to scour the
included tracks for songs that don't contain a
ridiculously obvious WWE sound-byte to start them off,
or the collective works of DJ Bumpy
Knuckles.
To his surprise, HHH found
out pretty quickly why Bobby Lashley is always a
favorite amongst the
Divas. |
"GRAPHICS & OTHER
TECHNICAL
DO-
HICKERY":
As far as the
graphics go, they'll either marvel or disappoint,
depending on what it is you're looking for. I personally
loved it. Technically, the animation is sharp and
detailed, as on a HDTV you can notice really cool
nuances like the leather fibers on Undertaker's coat, or
the five remaining hairs atop Shawn Michael's head; but
that said, they're being a little *generous* in
most cases with muscle-tone. I mean, Ric Flair has a
six-pack! And I don't mean the first of many beers with
an inebriated Arn Anderson, just because, but
rather ABS.
Seriously, Ric Flair hasn't had Abs since JFK
decided it'd be nice to ride with
the convertible roof down. Just saying. But other
than that, the actual ring-entrance movements of the
wrestlers are practically FLAWLESS. Thank God. Gone
are the days of Randy Orton making his way to the ring
all bow-legged, looking like he's desperately trying to
avoid dropping a load. Now, Orton walks, preens, and
poses without looking constipated, and we have
THQ's motion capture people to thank. Or maybe ol'
RKO found himself a Diva's carryall bag backstage
and followed his natural instincts? I'm going with
the first. After all, that urban legend has been
de-bunked. I hope.
As for the
wrestling in the ring, most of the moves look great, but
there's still the issue of collision detection. Either
that, or Undertaker possesses the innate ability to
disperse his molecules and pass right through people.
And here I thought he just had the ability to shoot
lightning from his hands, and come back from the
dead constantly no matter whether he was crushed, burned
or buried under 4 tons on dirt. That I could
buy. But come on, Teleportation? That's just
ridiculous~! *Ahem*.
CHARACTERS:
Kind of a
strange line-up of characters this year, and despite the
addition of "ECW" to the game, there's still about 10
superstars shy of the roster they had last year.
That said, there's still your usual suspects like Triple
H, John Cena, Batista and Shawn Michaels, and a slew of
Divas, including the debuts of Kelly Kelly and
Ashley! And unlike her real life counterpart,
this Ashley doesn't start off with every limb on
her meter completely glowing red. That's a
plus.
On the male side, we
see several debuts as well. So, if your dream
is to somehow take Kenny Dykstra ALL THE WAY, BABY, you
can do just that. And chances are, if this is
truly your aspiration, your last name is probably
Dykstra. Just saying. The others making their first
ever THQ appearances are Elijah Burke, JTG,
Shad, Marcus Cor Von, MVP, The Sandman, Tommy
Dreamer, Sabu, and CM Punk, sans his Pepsi and
Cobra tattoos. Poor Punk. There's no Cola love at THQ,
apparently. Not even Faygo. Not
even.
Chris Masters and Randy Orton never did
quite grasp the concept of
baseball. |
As for your
commentary teams, you get access to all THREE
broadcast teams depending on what arena you
use. Those announce teams? Well, Jim Ross and
Jerry Lawler (whom I have this sneaking suspicion just
might use a lot of lame analogies about abused
government-issued livestock and pseudonyms for breasts,
instead of you know "calling the match"), Michael Cole
& JBL, and Tazz and JOEY STYLES~! Yes, Joey makes
his return to video game voice work! The last time we
saw him he was calling holds comically called the "Pearl
Necklace" and "Dickie-drop" in ECW's aforementioned
Anarchy Rulz. Something tells me that's not the case
here. The only "dick being dropped" here is Bob Holly,
who's only included in the Nintendo DS version,
apparently. Man. And here I was hoping I'd be
able to virtually violate the trust of
an untrained wrestler by pulverizing him for
no reason. Oh well. Maybe next year.
And finally, we have most
people's favorite aspect of these games: THE LEGENDS. This time
around you have RAVISHING RICK
RUDE and TERRY
FUNK to work with. That's
just awesome. And not just for the
reaction my girlfriend just had to my declaration of
Funk being THE HARDCORE LEGEND.
"He's a porn star? Who'd ever want to have sex with
him?" she ignorantly said. That's just great. I
never had the heart to correct her and fill her in on
the wrestling connotation of the name. Mostly
because Terry Funk as a porn star holds infinitely more
comedic potential. I mean, who knows what kind of
props he'd bring into the bedroom. Lighting a dildo on
fire? Throwing spermicidal jelly mixed with
thumb-tacks into someone's eyes? Hell, I
doubt if he'd even wear a condom. He IS from the
Double-cross Ranch, remember? Exactly.
Besides, what's the worse that could happen? He's
been set on fire and slammed into broken glass. What's a
little STD after that?
Rounding out the rest of the
stars is Bret Hart, Mick Foley, Steve Austin
and Roddy Piper. Man, it's about time they've put
these guys in a game! Wait. That's right. They're in
like every game. Seriously, I love Bret, Stone
Cold, Mick & Rock, but how about going outside the
box and selecting some OTHER Legends, too? I mean,
it's not like they wouldn't be up for it. I
just saw a video of GREG THE HAMMER VALENTINE
WRESTLING IN SOME TEENAGER'S BACKYARD FOR MONEY.
Throw the poor guy a bone. Or at least get him to
wrestle it. Apparently he'll fight anything for
money. I
mean, seriously though, there's a slew of legends out there
to choose from, so why not go for it? Of course, that
might mean actually having to animate some new people,
though. But hey, why render say, Demolition, when you
can just use Rock again, forever? I'm just not getting
into it. "OH MY GOD, SEAN, HE'S DIFFERENT
NOW, HE'S GOT A NEW HAIRCUT!." Seriously, though,
it's something to think about. For A LOT of people, this
is the selling feature on the game. In fact, you might
be surprised how well and all WWE Legends game
would sell. That said, it's just a minor gripe,
because the CAW section is detailed enough,
and with the addition of the hard-drive theme
music option, you can probably make whatever legend
your little heart desires. So really, no harm, no foul.
Or maybe Fowl. If in fact you chose
to create Terry Taylor or the Gobbledy
Gooker.
XBOX
360 VERSUS PLAYSTATION 3:
There's actually huge differences
between these two platforms as far as the games go.
XBox's graphics come across much more vibrant
and realistic, while PS3's graphics are not nearly as
crisp. I blame the fact that PS3's version is
only broadcast in 720p resolution, while XBox's is
1080p. A HUGE Difference. PS3's animation is
choppier, and you can notice small things like outlines,
which are non-existent in the much more realistic XBox
360 version. So, if that's an issue for you, there
you go. Of course, the other big strike
against PS3 is the aforementioned issue of no
customizable tracks for CAW's. So, for my money, which
usually you'd have to pry from my fat little fingers
with the jaws of life, I think, in this instance, I
prefer the X-Box 360 version, and recommend that, if
you're debating just which version to purchase. But
hey, that's just me.
What Kane never
did realize was, Bobby Lashley was always the superior
dancer, because he "felt" the
music. |
MY WISH-
LIST:
Although, I
enjoyed this game over all, especially due
to the genuine ECW experience, that doesn't mean I
don't have a *few things* I'd love to see remedied
before next year's version is released. Here are a few
of these things:
-The commentating
needs a serious over-haul. Thank god there's the option
to turn it off altogether, because sometimes, dear god,
it takes all my willpower to not do myself in
hara-kiri style with my cumbersome X-Box controller.
Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross's efforts especially.
Basically, their commentary from the last 2 games has
been replicated again, which means once again, you'll have to
hear their nonsensical banter repeating ad nauseam like
a deranged Southern Teddy
Ruxpin. "You don't
know true happiness until you're married,
JR. ...but then it's too late!" Why the Hell is
this line even in the game? It's annoying to the
highest degree. Heaven forbid, the commentators CALL THE
HOLDS, and not give me detailed explanations of what a
"Limber-tail" and "Scalded dog" is. Dear
God.
-It'd be nice
if you could pick ANY superstar to compete in career
mode with. Apparently the issues with this, is that not
every voice was captured for use. But I don't know about
you, but I don't really need to hear Chavo Guerrero
audibly recite wooden dialogue. Captions are fine. I
know some people are all like "OH NO! NOT READING!", but
hey, screw you. If it means I can take more
than Cena or Batista to a Championship, then it's
clearly worth it. And how about that, eh? Even in video
game form, you can't take some small guys to the
World Title...
-What are the
point of the Divas as playable characters in the game?
You can't even use them in Career mode. What's the
point, really? Does anyone really ever select them
anyway as players? It'd be different if they had a full
year-long storyline you could play that didn't
involve you eventually somehow making out with John
Cena. But without wrestling, they kind of serve no
purpose. Huh. I guess they were going for realism after
all. ;)
-The
aforementioned weight changes to Create-A-Superstar.
More realistic shapes would be nice. Maybe heights, too.
Not everyone is built like a 300 pound
muscle-bound Adonis. Despite Vince McMahon's
praying....
-Customizable
arenas or rings. How cool would it be to be able to
create your own custom banners and sets?
-More in-depth
Storylines. Once the year ends, you shouldn't have to
recycle storylines or start all over again. What is
this, the actual WWE? It'd be nice if there was at
least 5 WWE calendar years worth of unique
storylines. Or at least maybe unique ones depending on
whom you pick.
-More Legends
(see above).
- Some A.I. tweaks to how some of
the wrestlers actually wrestle. Nothing is more
frustrating then watching a match, and seeing all six
men in the Elimination Chamber repeatedly climb the
structure and jump to their dooms, OVER AND OVER again,
with no psychology. Or in standard matches, not follow
up on a big move, or just wildly swing chairs at one
another like two drunken medieval knights.
It's probably the one real issue that needs to be
addressed by next year's version. Seriously. If I
wanted to watch people with no common sense and
direction do battle, I'd just go to the bus station
and throw a few dollars at the mentally-disabled down
there. You'd be surprised how much damage someone with
Down's Syndrome can do for a half-eaten candy bar. It's
inspiring.
FINAL
THOUGHTS: Once again, as
mentioned, I enjoyed this game and really recommend
it. Some people may make the argument that basically,
the game is just a suped-up version of the same exact engine, just with
a fresh coat of paint every year, but for everyone
who thinks that, there's no doubt people who like the
familiarity of not having to relearn every facet
of a completely new game, and whom
just look forward to new wrinkles like the ECW
match. For many people, it's like the way WWE is itself.
There's subtle changes, but at the end of the day, it's
easy to jump right in and follow again, even if it's
been a few years since you've last seen it. For those
people, they won't be disappointed. Neither was I. But
maybe that's because, unlike the actual WWE, I didn't
have to sit through a *hilarious* midget sketch, or
listen to Vince cut a 20 minute promo, and instead could
just enjoy WRESTLING. Well, that and pin Triple H
repeatedly with a guy who has "no passion for the
business". Just because I
can.
Thumbs
up~!
Sean Carless
is a man of many hats. And he wears those hats to cover
an ever-increasing bald spot. Sean's various scribblings
have been read at Live Audio Wrestling, 411 Mania, Honky
Tonk Man.com, The Toronto Star.com,
Wrestlecrap, and Lethal Wrestling. He has also
cured AIDS.
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