|
 SMACKDOWN
VS.
RAW 2008
REVIEW
That's right Wrestling fans,
and Wrestling Game fans, and fans of The Wrestling
Fan, and fans of reviews by the Wrestling Fan of
Wrestling games for Wrestling fans, I am your
noble host Sean Carless, and welcome to the
official TWF review of THQ's newest entry in
the celebrated Smackdown series, "WWE Smackdown vs. RAW 2008!"
Now Featuring ECW. Their official catchphrase is
"How will you play?";
and if you're anything like the list of
shmoes I've spent the better part of the two days
competing against, the answer is probably "really
terribly". But hey, that doesn't mean this game
is. Anything but, actually. And I'd be lying if I
said I didn't derive hours of enjoyment from it.
And not just because it finally gave me a
legal avenue in which I
could potentially run down Vince
McMahon with a car, or set him
on fire. I swear.
That said, I have to take my
hat off to THQ here, but only for a second because
it's covering an unsightly bald spot, as with each
new game they release, they seem to at least
improve somewhat on the previous incarnation. This
is the case once again. There's still quite a few
issues, sure, some that obviously need to be
re-tooled, or in some cases completely overhauled
(That I will get to shortly), but for the most
part, THQ has once again delivered a game that can
be played again and again, with no waning of
enthusiasm. Not too many games can make that
claim. And that's what usually sets Wrestling
titles apart from other games. With most titles,
once you complete the designated mission, the game
becomes somewhat obsolete and boring. Not these
games. They contain so many varying possibilities
of continuous game-play and custom creativity that
you can keep going back, creating your own really
terribly self-designed CAW (Create-A-Wrestler),
loading his awkward ass with way too much apparel,
and then taking that hopeless eye-sore to the
World Title, time and time again! And all without
certain people in the front office whose name
rhyme with, umm, John Laurinaitis, telling you
that you have the wrong look, and don't know how
to work main event style. Although, they're right.
You're ridiculous.
Had Kane just made copies of that
evil videotape 7 days before, this whole sorted
mess could have been
avoided. |
Anyway, Wrestling Games have
always grabbed me, and every
November, I find myself buying whatever
title has been released. From the
good old days of wrestlers with non-defined
catcher's mitts for hands in WWF War Zone, to
Giant 9 foot anorexic, pigment-free Andrew
"Test" Martin's in original SmackDown, to an
entire year of career-mode storylines culminating
in a usually silent, masked-Kane of all
people telling Vince McMahon to "Shut his
Mouth", I have become
unconditionally HOOKED on these games. I
don't know what it is. Perhaps, I, much like CM
Punk, am ADDICTED TO COMPETITION? It's
true. I've tried getting myself and Punker
booked on A&E's intervention, but thus far, no
dice. Apparently "alcohol abuse" and "drug
dependency" take precedence over an inane need to
apply top wristlocks and jump off really high
objects. Oh well.
That said, I may
not know what it is about these games that
grab me so much, but what I do know is, if
you thought it was difficult enough
before explaining to your Girlfriend why you
watch sweaty dudes in their underwear roll around
with one another every Monday, Tuesday and Friday,
try then explaining from there, why
you then spend 3 MORE HOURS
EVERY DAY pretending to be these
same Speedo-laden heroes. And, ya, also try
explaining to her what the Hell was
going on when you were accidentally busted tossing
a CAW likeness of her to her demise off the top of
the Hell in the Cell. Trust me. It wasn't pretty.
But hey, neither is she, so no harm no
foul. (I'm single, ladies! *Ahem*.).
"I'm still Hungry! Bring me more
Tag teams!" |
So, this takes us to the game
in question. And the best part is, to my
knowledge, this is the first WWE game ever
available on EVERY SINGLE current gaming
console. So, if you possess
the incessant need to physically
pantomime Bobby Lashley on your Wii, throwing
virtual clotheslines, convincing neighbors that
catch glimpse of your spastic uncoordinated
histrionics through the window that you're
either epileptic, retarded or
both, that's clearly your business. I
personally chose both the X-Box 360 and PS3, my
two current favorite systems to test this bad boy
out on. And not just because it's the only systems
I own. Not even.
So, join me now as we break
this mother down. It's Smackdown vs. RAW 2008!:
The closest thing to really being in the
ring!... minus being pinned, with two more of
your friends, by Triple H, at the same
time. Just because. I don't make the
rules.
TIME TO PLAY GAME
WHAHAHA:
There are several new
wrinkles to the game this year, and no I don't
mean a newer rendition of that aging
Stark ravin' Hulkster, dude. By that I
mean, THQ has once again tweaked the
controls. Why they decided to change
this, and not say alter the A.I., so guys
don't repeatedly commit suicide off the sides of
the Elimination Chamber like crazed lemmings is
beyond me. But in this case, based on last year's
alterations to the control settings, it has
definitely been significantly improved and simplified.This time around,
the right stick plays even more of a prominent
role in the game, primarily with the
introduction of the new "struggle submission system";
and no, that's not another term for how
Mike Tyson likes to end his dates, but rather
a newer, more realistic approach to applying
submission holds. Now when you're grinding your
foe into submission on the mat, you will pull
or push the right trigger in the direction in
which will administer more pain. The
more tenaciously you move the stick, the more
pressure is applied. It's that
simple. Got the guy in a
Boston Crab? Well, pull back in the
opposite direction, and stretch those legs, chief.
Soon he'll resemble the absolutely real giant
crustaceans found on the Massachusetts sea
board that look like upside down men with
legs behind their heads screaming in anguish. Such
a creature HAS to exist for wrestling to create a
wrestling hold in its honor, right?
Right?
In any event, this
newer simplified system brings a new level of
realism to the games. If only applying
realistic holds was that simple in real life.
I'm sure guys like the Miz wish it
was. There's no proper button
combinations in real-life to
simplify what he thinks it is he's doing
out there. Anyway, on the opposite end
of the spectrum, to escape the holds once they're
applied to YOU? it's basically the same deal.
You rock that bad boy until somehow you squirm
free or get to the ropes for the clean
break. So, this pretty much ends all
the button mashing you usually see in these
scenarios. However, it has done little
to dissuade my immature poor-sportsmanship
and constant cursing and yelling while my wrestler
is trapped in submission holds. I still demand he
not quit under threat
that I will destroy him in CAW edit as if he's a
real person. I clearly have issues. But he still
should know better.
Sadly, this would be the very last
time Mr. Kennedy asked Ric if he wanted to go
Bowling. |
That said, besides the
submission holds, right
trigger is pretty much used for
everything. Including to access your Ultimate Control Move (mine
for the record is telling girlfriends that
they're losing their looks and that they'll
never get a man like me again who'll accept all
their foibles), which is now accomplished by
pushing up on right trigger, followed by R3.
This will now allow you to manipulate the poor
bastard that much easier to drag
him over and say, ram him
face-first into the steel steps, or throw his
ass onto the announce table. From there, you
can then just pretend it's the now-forgotten
Spanish version, and dedicate your
impending wanton destruction to the
non-existent pixilated Hugo and Carlos, who'd no
doubt be scurrying for their very animated
lives at this moment.
Another HUGE change to
the game is that every WWE Superstar is now
defined by a unique fighting
style. The Showman for flashier moves
and crowd-pleasing histrionics; Dirty for well, guys who
don't like to play by the rules; Technical for guys who
do; High Flying, for guys like Rey Mysterio;
Brawler for guys who, you got it, brawl;
Hardcore for guys who
use weapons and no doubt enjoy full penetration in
their pornography; Submission
Artist for those who use submission holds,
then no doubt have the artistic ability to paint
and sculpt detailed interpretations of said holds,
or maybe just first part; and of course Powerhouse, for those big,
strong, slower moving guys who no doubt only
have their job based solely on the fact that
they're the only guys on earth for whom Spandex is
not one size fits all.
(cough*MarkHenry*cough).
"The bottom lines" as
our friend Santino Marella would say is that each
wrestler's unique fighting style basically
prevents that superstar from doing
uncharacteristic things they'd sooner NEVER
do. Like Rey Mysterio giving a tombstone to
Kane for example, or Triple H
graciously putting over new talent. Or maybe
just they Rey one. I heard they tried
the latter but apparently like raising Bobby
Lashley's charisma stats, IT'S
IMPOSSIBLE. After all, THQ aren't
miracle workers!
That said, each wrestler you
create gets to choose from TWO of these
distinct styles, with one acting as his
primary style.
The only real drawback is the lack of
full explanation or tutorial on how to master
the unique nuances of each style. There's some
basic tutorials available in the game, but
for the most part, you'll have to play it by
ear. However, once you do somehow figure it
out, it rules all kinds of Ass. Or just one kind,
since asses are all kind of the same
when you get down to it. For instance, when
playing as a known rule-breaker like Randy Orton
or Edge, you can beg off, and use the Referee as a
human shield, and then toss him into your
unsuspecting opponent. And when playing as say,
Mysterio, you can quickly pull off desperation
pins in dire situations like the dreaded POSSUM PIN. I've personally
never been rolled into a complicated cradle by
possums while trying to shoe them off my property,
but if WWE says that rodents possesses keen
catch-as-catch can wrestling skills, who am I to
argue?
Needless to say, John Cena and Rey
Mysterio's new take on Dicken's 'A Christmas
Carol' didn't exactly impress
Producers... |
And while we're speaking of
moves, there's a SLEW of new holds to choose from
here. Hell, there's even a new RKO, where you
catch a wrestler jumping off the top rope and
counter it in mid-air into an RKO! Awesome.
However, unfortunately for Randy, there's
still no tweaks to his
vaunted chin-lock. So, you'll have to be
content in just being really really boring
with only one kind of rest-hold. Oh
well.
Another great new addition is
the "Hall Of Fame"
mode, where you can relive 12 specific historic
WWE moments, which will in turn help you unlock
certain purchasable items. Some of
these 12 historic moments in question
include beating Steve Austin in an "I quit match";
and yes, in this case, he still shows up when
finds out he's scheduled to lose; and HBK
beating Bret Hart at Wrestlemania 12 in
an Iron-Man match... that subsequently sent
him on a downward spiral to tragedy and despair
and in essence wrecked his life forever. YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN. There's
not too many games out there that
allow you to retroactively break a human
being's spirit and desire completely, so hats off
to THQ here. The best part though, is that
unlike other previous version of "Iron Man" in the
previous games, you don't have to toil
around bored for an hour straight, because
they're now in 10-20 minute intervals. Just enough
time for you to decimate your competition without
the worry of growing tired of repeatedly
pinning them. Anyone without the last
name Hearst-Helmsley will
likely appreciate this one.
The rest of the match
modes are your usual suspects, ranging from Hell
in the Cell, First Blood, TLC, and
Elimination Chamber. Hell, even the "Buried Alive
match" is back again. Thankfully sans the
awkward burying of the
real-life "just expired" Eddie Guerrero like
in 2006's version. And no, a certain GUY WHO
NEVER EXISTED is not available in this game, so no
chance of repeating that macabre moment again with
the Wolverine, who if JR's commentary for the
last 7 years is to be believed was
RABID. WWE wouldn't lie to us. Stop this steroids
and concussion business, media. And look into the
real culprit: RABIES. And hell, look for the
animal (Batista? George Steele? Joe Lauranaitis?)
that infected him in the first place! It's not too
late!
Anyway, THQ has a very decent
line-up of match types available. But basically
bar one that I'll get to shortly, they're the
exact same match-types we've seen in the past 4
games. For the record, what's once again
absent though, is the Divas "Fulfill
your Fantasy" match from 2006. Go figure. You
remember that, right? You know, the
match where the only way to win was to strip
the woman to her underwear and bend her over and
spank her bare ass? Maybe that's not that
bad of an idea to scrap that one.Turns out women
don't actually appreciate that in
real-life as much as you'd think they would.
Believe me, I know. Maybe next time I'll
introduce myself first. Wish me luck.
However, that all said, the
BEST game mode, and in my-ever-so-humble opinion,
the selling feature for
this particular title is the addition of the ECW Rules match. Finally, a
realistic depiction of what ECW is
supposed to be. So for those of you born
after 1994 who *really wanted* to re-enact a
really "exciting" tete-a-tete between Kevin
Thorn and Mike Knox, umm, sucks to be you?
Instead, THQ has brought back the classic ECW
environment, (only the wrestlers get paid here, I
presume) with all sorts of HARDCORE HI-JINKS
abounding. That's right, fans will literally hold
up weapons for you to grab and pummel your
opposition with. And if that's not enough,
there's an all-new weapon system in place in this
match. Now when you stick your grubby paws under
the ring, it'll access a weapon wheel, from which
you can then choose the item you wish to part
your foe's hair with. This is a HUGE improvement
over choosing the same exact weapon time and time
again. The only drawback, at least to me, is that
the weapons once again, after being expunged
of their usefulness, just glow and disappear
forever. Who designed that function? OJ
Simpson? That would clearly come in handy for
him, I guess.
A word of warning: Never leave
Kane hanging when he demands a High-
Five. |
But wait, that's not all!
There is one more caveat to this mode that bowls
the rest over: FIRE. Yes, it's true. Now you can
light barb-wired covered 2X4's and even tables on
FIRE! Those of us addicted to Rasslin' gaming will
remember the last time fire was used in a U.S.
game was ECW's Anarchy Rulz for original
Playstation. Only unlike that game,
this game's version only leads to
an easy pin, and not the screaming, agonizing
ultimate demise of Little Guido Maritato,
physically disintegrating in the ring encompassing
blaze. Those of you who played that game will
know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.
The Career mode has also
undertaken some radical changes. It's now
combining GM mode and Career mode into one mutant
hybrid known as the 24/7
mode. You can play as a GM, putting
together matches, drafting superstars, and running
the day to day nuances of a wrestling promotion...
and all without being sabotaged by Stephanie
McMahon, who rapes your brand of any of its
originality and appeal and forces you to build the
show around three dancing bimbos. Glad we cleared
that up. The other side sees your WWE superstar of
choice, or no-name hero of your
creating, attempt to battle their way to
Legend status. The real
hard part though is preventing your superstar from
getting injured. If you run the poor bastard
ragged, in an attempt to gain the most dolla dolla
bills (Tm. Teddy Long) possible, that's
exactly what will happen. You'll get an email from
the GM stating that your Superstar has suffered an
injury and will in turn miss X number of
weeks. The problem arising though is that he
doesn't miss that time, and you'll be forced to
wrestle hurt anyway, starting all your bouts
in the red, and being more prone to
defeat and further injury! Man, someone needs to
give Nancy Grace a call! This is
outrageous! Where's Marc Mero with his
revised list of deceased animated
wrestlers when you need him to put an end to this
by gawd chicanery?
Anyway, despite the injury
handicap, if you wrestle smartly, there's
still a chance you can prevail, but make one
mistake and well, you're toast. It can
definitely lead to a tedious amount of
helplessness. I'm not really bothered by it as
much, because I wrestle incredibly dirty anyway,
but I understand how someone might not dig
it.(Sucka).
For the record, someone
told me (I'm still not sure) that you can
rehab your Superstar by sending him for massages
and what not, but this apparently affects your
popularity. I think I know what they mean. I
always lose my appeal when I go for massages.
Maybe it's because I keep turning over
and asking for a happy ending? I'm not
allowed back now. Did I do it wrong?
As for the storylines
themselves, truth be told, I haven't gotten too
deep yet, so I cannot condemn or praise
it completely. Hopefully,
though, unlike last year, you won't have to
compete in a nonsensical ladder match with
Chris Masters(?!). Who'd ever book that? I can
only hope that much like THQ's Smackdown Here
Comes the Pain in 2003, this version includes
Classic Undertaker having the opportunity to umm,
"bury a stiff" with Torrie Wilson in the
locker-room shower. That was the
single greatest thing EVER in the entire
history of Wrestling themed video games, and one I
dare say, other than Goldberg disturbingly
drinking from a milk hose in the very same game,
can never be equaled or surpassed again.
That said, unfortunately,
much like it's been in the last few
years, this career mode (at least from what
I've observed thus far) is pretty
much basically the same old repetition
of identical storylines no matter
what character you choose. And to add a
little bit of ironic humor to the
proceedings, often, you'll find yourself
suddenly palling around with the same dude
who vehemently tried to murder you not a few
minutes before. That's sweet. I mean, why
not respectfully greet and shake the
hand of the dude who just attacked you and put you
in a wheelchair after trying to kill you with a
car? Who'd hold grudges over something that
trivial?
Oh, and before I
forget, you'll be happy to know that
no matter how long you play, it stays 2008
forever. But hey,
that's expected, I guess. After all, the
real WWE's been "1998" for ten years now. But
still, flaws aside, it's an enjoyable
experience, and for once, a relatively tough
odyssey to complete. That's a bonus where I come
from (parts unknown for the record). Anything that
prolongs my gaming experience is a good thing in
my book. So, when the paramedics find my body this
weekend in a frozen, deformed
rigor-mortis-like state like that dude from The
Ring, you'll have THQ to thank.
Create-A-Superstar is pretty
much the exact same as it was last year,
bar a few cool new props like a Cobra
Commander hood~! There's also less
face-paints, but more hairdo's. So, if you for
some reason once again feel compelled to make
Harry Potter or Victoria Beckham's husband for no
logical reason, their hair do's (hair
don'ts?) are all there.
The bodies, also like last
year, are better mapped and can once again be
adorned with disturbing butter-like sheen. My only
issue, and one that I have had for almost every
game this engine has produced, is that as far as
body types go, you cannot realistically reproduce
a truly morbidly obese wrestler. You can only
build your created player to a certain bulk, so
re-creating say, a Yokozuna CAW is
impossible, realism wise. I mean, so much for
creating a realistic depiction of the average
online wrestling critic. The unwavering negativity
and feeling of self-importance just won't be
the same without the corresponding bulk that makes
him a true member of the IWC. (Internet Wrestling
Community).
The rest of the
Create-A-Whatever modes are also similar
with a couple of MAJOR exceptions. One
is CREATE-A-BELT. Not only are there all
new templates to choose from, but now you can
actually watch two CPU opponents face off for
your belt, and
it can even be put into
tournaments,etc. This is a HUGE improvement in my
opinion. Because sometimes, you just want to watch
two no-hopers kick the crap out of each other for
little reward, bar a belt that's meaningless
to everyone else in the world. Or maybe that's
just how Vince McMahon books the Cruiserweight
division. I can't remember.
The OTHER
huge change, and by god, for the better, is
that in the X-Box version you can FINALLY derive
music from your hard-drive to give your CAW's
unique theme music! This makes me so
unbelievably happy, as finally, I
can create a CAW of yours me'ly that can enter the
fracas to the melodious sounds of Tiny Tim's "
Living In The Sunlight, Loving
In The Moonlight".
Unfortunately though, for PS3'ers, this is NOT an
option. Boo. There's really no excuse for it,
honestly, as PS3 has a larger hard drive.
The PS2, I'd understand, for obvious reasons.
But the PS3? Come on. The saving grace though
is that PS3 does have a first person mode
for ring entrances. You still can't see
ringside fans laughing and pointing at the
hideousness of your created player, but it's as
close to reality as you're going to get. But
it's still not the same without custom
music. I guess those of us who choose to
break out the PS3 version, will just have to scour
the included tracks for songs that don't contain a
ridiculously obvious WWE sound-byte to start them
off, or the collective works of DJ Bumpy
Knuckles.
To his surprise, HHH found out
pretty quickly why Bobby Lashley is always a
favorite amongst the
Divas. |
"GRAPHICS & OTHER
TECHNICAL DO-
HICKERY":
As far as the graphics go,
they'll either marvel or disappoint, depending on
what it is you're looking for. I personally loved
it. Technically, the animation is sharp and
detailed, as on a HDTV you can notice really cool
nuances like the leather fibers on Undertaker's
coat, or the five remaining hairs atop Shawn
Michael's head; but that said, they're being
a little *generous* in most cases with
muscle-tone. I mean, Ric Flair has a six-pack! And
I don't mean the first of many beers with an
inebriated Arn Anderson, just because, but
rather ABS.
Seriously, Ric Flair hasn't had Abs since JFK
decided it'd be nice to ride with
the convertible roof down. Just saying. But
other than that, the actual ring-entrance
movements of the wrestlers are practically
FLAWLESS. Thank God. Gone are the days of Randy
Orton making his way to the ring all bow-legged,
looking like he's desperately trying to avoid
dropping a load. Now, Orton walks, preens, and
poses without looking constipated, and we
have THQ's motion capture people to thank. Or
maybe ol' RKO found himself a Diva's carryall
bag backstage and followed his natural
instincts? I'm going with the first. After
all, that urban legend has been de-bunked. I
hope.
As for the wrestling in the
ring, most of the moves look great, but there's
still the issue of collision detection. Either
that, or Undertaker possesses the innate
ability to disperse his molecules and pass right
through people. And here I thought he just had the
ability to shoot lightning from his hands,
and come back from the dead constantly no
matter whether he was crushed, burned or buried
under 4 tons on dirt. That I could buy. But
come on, Teleportation? That's just
ridiculous~! *Ahem*.
CHARACTERS:
Kind of a strange line-up of
characters this year, and despite the addition of
"ECW" to the game, there's still about 10
superstars shy of the roster they had last
year. That said, there's still your usual suspects
like Triple H, John Cena, Batista and Shawn
Michaels, and a slew of Divas, including
the debuts of Kelly Kelly and Ashley! And
unlike her real life counterpart,
this Ashley doesn't start off with every limb
on her meter completely glowing red.
That's a plus.
On the male side, we
see several debuts as well. So, if your
dream is to somehow take Kenny Dykstra ALL THE
WAY, BABY, you can do just that. And chances are,
if this is truly your aspiration, your last
name is probably Dykstra. Just saying. The
others making their first ever THQ appearances are
Elijah Burke, JTG, Shad, Marcus Cor Von, MVP,
The Sandman, Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, and CM Punk,
sans his Pepsi and Cobra tattoos. Poor Punk.
There's no Cola love at THQ, apparently. Not even
Faygo. Not even.
Chris Masters and Randy Orton
never did quite grasp the concept of
baseball. |
As for your commentary teams,
you get access to all THREE broadcast teams
depending on what arena you use. Those
announce teams? Well, Jim Ross and Jerry
Lawler (whom I have this sneaking suspicion just
might use a lot of lame analogies about abused
government-issued livestock and pseudonyms for
breasts, instead of you know "calling the match"),
Michael Cole & JBL, and Tazz and JOEY STYLES~!
Yes, Joey makes his return to video game voice
work! The last time we saw him he was calling
holds comically called the "Pearl Necklace" and
"Dickie-drop" in ECW's aforementioned Anarchy
Rulz. Something tells me that's not the case here.
The only "dick being dropped" here is Bob Holly,
who's only included in the Nintendo DS version,
apparently. Man. And here I was hoping I'd be
able to virtually violate the trust of
an untrained wrestler by pulverizing him for
no reason. Oh well. Maybe next year.
And finally, we
have most people's favorite aspect of these
games: THE LEGENDS.
This time around you have RAVISHING RICK RUDE and
TERRY FUNK to work
with. That's just awesome. And not
just for the reaction my girlfriend just had
to my declaration of Funk being THE HARDCORE LEGEND.
"He's a porn star? Who'd ever want to have sex
with him?" she ignorantly said. That's just
great. I never had the heart to correct her and
fill her in on the wrestling connotation of the
name. Mostly because Terry Funk as a porn
star holds infinitely more comedic potential. I
mean, who knows what kind of props he'd bring
into the bedroom. Lighting a dildo on fire?
Throwing spermicidal jelly mixed with
thumb-tacks into someone's eyes? Hell, I
doubt if he'd even wear a condom. He IS from
the Double-cross Ranch, remember? Exactly.
Besides, what's the worse that could happen?
He's been set on fire and slammed into broken
glass. What's a little STD after that?
Rounding out the rest
of the stars is Bret Hart, Mick Foley, Steve
Austin and Roddy Piper. Man, it's about time
they've put these guys in a game! Wait. That's
right. They're in like every game. Seriously,
I love Bret, Stone Cold, Mick & Rock, but how
about going outside the box and selecting
some OTHER Legends, too? I mean, it's not
like they wouldn't be up for it. I just saw a
video of GREG THE HAMMER VALENTINE WRESTLING
IN SOME TEENAGER'S BACKYARD FOR MONEY. Throw
the poor guy a bone. Or at least get him to
wrestle it. Apparently he'll fight anything for
money. I mean, seriously though, there's a
slew of legends out there to choose from, so why
not go for it? Of course, that might mean actually
having to animate some new people, though. But
hey, why render say, Demolition, when you can just
use Rock again, forever? I'm just not getting into
it. "OH MY GOD, SEAN, HE'S DIFFERENT
NOW, HE'S GOT A NEW HAIRCUT!." Seriously,
though, it's something to think about. For A LOT
of people, this is the selling feature on the
game. In fact, you might be surprised how well and
all WWE Legends game would sell. That said,
it's just a minor gripe, because the CAW
section is detailed enough, and with the
addition of the hard-drive theme music
option, you can probably make whatever legend
your little heart desires. So really, no harm, no
foul. Or maybe Fowl. If in fact you
chose to create Terry Taylor or the Gobbledy
Gooker.
XBOX 360 VERSUS
PLAYSTATION 3:
There's actually huge differences
between these two platforms as far as the games
go. XBox's graphics come
across much more vibrant and realistic,
while PS3's graphics are not nearly as
crisp. I blame the fact that PS3's
version is only broadcast in 720p resolution,
while XBox's is 1080p. A HUGE
Difference. PS3's animation is choppier, and
you can notice small things like outlines, which
are non-existent in the much more realistic XBox
360 version. So, if that's an issue for you,
there you go. Of course, the other big
strike against PS3 is the aforementioned issue of
no customizable tracks for CAW's. So, for my
money, which usually you'd have to pry from my fat
little fingers with the jaws of life, I
think, in this instance, I prefer the X-Box 360
version, and recommend that, if you're debating
just which version to purchase. But hey,
that's just me.
What Kane never did realize
was, Bobby Lashley was always
the superior dancer, because he "felt" the
music. |
MY WISH-
LIST:
Although, I enjoyed this game
over all, especially due to the genuine
ECW experience, that doesn't mean I don't have a
*few things* I'd love to see remedied before next
year's version is released. Here are a few of
these things:
-The commentating needs
a serious over-haul. Thank god there's the option
to turn it off altogether, because sometimes, dear
god, it takes all my willpower to not do
myself in hara-kiri style with my cumbersome X-Box
controller. Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross's
efforts especially. Basically, their
commentary from the last 2 games has been
replicated again, which
means once again, you'll have to hear
their nonsensical banter repeating ad nauseam like
a deranged Southern Teddy
Ruxpin. "You don't
know true happiness until you're married,
JR. ...but then it's too late!" Why the Hell
is this line even in the game? It's annoying
to the highest degree. Heaven forbid, the
commentators CALL THE HOLDS, and not give me
detailed explanations of what a "Limber-tail" and
"Scalded dog" is. Dear God.
-It'd be nice if you could
pick ANY superstar to compete in career mode with.
Apparently the issues with this, is that not every
voice was captured for use. But I don't know about
you, but I don't really need to hear Chavo
Guerrero audibly recite wooden dialogue. Captions
are fine. I know some people are all like "OH NO!
NOT READING!", but hey, screw you. If it means I
can take more than Cena or Batista to a
Championship, then it's clearly worth it. And how
about that, eh? Even in video game form, you can't
take some small guys to the World
Title...
-What are the point of the
Divas as playable characters in the game? You
can't even use them in Career mode. What's the
point, really? Does anyone really ever select them
anyway as players? It'd be different if they had a
full year-long storyline you could play that
didn't involve you eventually somehow making out
with John Cena. But without wrestling, they kind
of serve no purpose. Huh. I guess they were going
for realism after all. ;)
-The aforementioned weight
changes to Create-A-Superstar. More realistic
shapes would be nice. Maybe heights, too. Not
everyone is built like a 300 pound
muscle-bound Adonis. Despite Vince McMahon's
praying....
-Customizable arenas or rings.
How cool would it be to be able to create your own
custom banners and sets?
-More in-depth Storylines.
Once the year ends, you shouldn't have to recycle
storylines or start all over again. What is this,
the actual WWE? It'd be nice if there was at
least 5 WWE calendar years worth of unique
storylines. Or at least maybe unique ones
depending on whom you pick.
-More Legends (see
above).
- Some A.I. tweaks to how some
of the wrestlers actually wrestle. Nothing is more
frustrating then watching a match, and seeing all
six men in the Elimination Chamber repeatedly
climb the structure and jump to their dooms, OVER
AND OVER again, with no psychology. Or in standard
matches, not follow up on a big move, or just
wildly swing chairs at one another like
two drunken medieval knights. It's
probably the one real issue that needs to be
addressed by next year's version.
Seriously. If I wanted to watch people
with no common sense and direction do battle,
I'd just go to the bus station and throw a few
dollars at the mentally-disabled down there. You'd
be surprised how much damage someone with Down's
Syndrome can do for a half-eaten candy bar. It's
inspiring.
FINAL
THOUGHTS: Once again, as
mentioned, I enjoyed this game and
really recommend it. Some people may make the
argument that basically, the game is
just a suped-up version of the same
exact engine, just with a fresh coat of
paint every year, but for everyone who thinks
that, there's no doubt people who like the
familiarity of not having to relearn every facet
of a completely new game, and whom
just look forward to new wrinkles like the
ECW match. For many people, it's like the way WWE
is itself. There's subtle changes, but at the end
of the day, it's easy to jump right in and follow
again, even if it's been a few years since you've
last seen it. For those people, they won't be
disappointed. Neither was I. But maybe that's
because, unlike the actual WWE, I didn't have to
sit through a *hilarious* midget sketch, or listen
to Vince cut a 20 minute promo, and instead could
just enjoy WRESTLING. Well, that and pin
Triple H repeatedly with a guy who has "no passion
for the business". Just because I can.
Thumbs up~!
Sean Carless is a man
of many hats. And he wears those hats to cover an
ever-increasing bald spot. Sean's various
scribblings have been read at Live Audio
Wrestling, 411 Mania, Honky Tonk Man.com, The
Toronto Star.com, Wrestlecrap, and Lethal
Wrestling. He has also cured AIDS.
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