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STUPIDITY:
A PLACE FOR ALL THE DUMB SHIT
THAT DOESN'T FIT ANYWHERE
ELSE...
[TEASERS & LINKS
BELOW]
Just
like the headline said, this page is the online
graveyard for the truly asinine content I've
written, that just doesn't seem to fit anywhere in
particular. Sometimes it's a quick gag,
blog, or a detailed Rant on one of the many
issues I've come to loathe in the world. And other
times it'll be me breaking news on issues
NO SANE MAN WOULD EVER GO
INTO. Sometimes the oddest shit can
inspire me, and this is what this page is all
about. It's the written equivalent of sitting
beside an insane homeless guy on the bus. You're
antsy, nervous and in the end disgusted, but
you're still somewhat fascinated that someone like
this actually exists. Only, you know, my beard is
way cooler. And I don't shank you in the ribs,
steal your purse and buy a flask of Thunderbird
with the money. Or do I?
Below you'll
find my rambling observations and
news-breaking on *certain* stories to stupid
to be real. But 'be real' they be. Stories
like surrogate cardboard fathers; How my
non-cardboard father celebrated the invention of
the Wii so to now show me what for, and of
course, mean jokes and jabs at the
expense of B-Level celebrities and their
ridiculous offspring. I mean, how dare they be
famous and rich! Let's hate them for no logical
reason! Join me!
STUPIDITY
LINKAGE~!
HOUSTON, WII HAVE A
PROBLEM.... - Saturday, January 13th 2007
12:31 AM
For YEARS, my
father bragged that if there ever was a video game
console where he could PHYSICALLY act out the
games as opposed to that gosh danged complicated
button mashing system, he'd dominate us to our
very cores. Well, his dream has finally came true,
thanks to Nintendo, and their brand new Wii
console...
GOD, YOU SMELL. -
Tuesday, April 3rd 2007 1:48
PM
For years, I have sat
idly by, awaiting the day in which the Heavenly
Father would finally forsake obvious non-important
matters like "poverty", "disease", and "famine",
and instead focus all of his omnipotent attention
on the truly IMPORTANT issues. Issues like
bottling his very essence in perfume form!
YES....
PSA -
Tuesday, May 15th 2007 9:36 PM
I don't know if
you've already heard, but in the world's infinite
plight to make us aware of things not-at-all
evident, May is in fact "VOLCANO AWARENESS
MONTH"...
This
goes out to all my Jewish friends, and the people
who are currently under my nefarious writing
employ that were chosen personally from G-d as his
personal hand-picked people. I imagine it was like
a heavenly game of Grade 5 Gym Dodgeball...
Only He-Man can pull this
shit off...
SEAN's INSANE RANT OF THE
DAY: FACEBOOK "GIFTS". -3:24am Wednesday,
Nov 28, 2007
Just a note. Save your money. Stop
sending me "Gifts" through Facebook. Your dollar
could go to much better causes. Like say, sending
it directly to me; or I don't know, BUYING ME
SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY EXISTS...
R.
Kelly was just found "Not Guilty" by a Jury
of his Pee'ers. Ya, you know where this is
all going...
Happy World Toilet Day! Just when I thought
VOLCANO AWARENESS DAY was the single dumbest
holiday imaginable, enter (exit?) World Toilet
Day! An overflowing celebration of ALL things
toilets world wide, filled to the brim with
everything you could ever know or care about our
porcelain pals! Both
things!
A MEAL RUINED. A LIFE
SHATTERED - 12:00am, Wednesday, April 8,
2009
As a
vaunted and celebrated Interweb celebrity and
purveyor of truths, I live the life of a Rock
Star. Unfortunately, that Rock Star is Meat Loaf.
The proceeding is a journey into the mundane &
insane as I kept a one day mock journal of
buffoonery that concluded with me being attacked
whilst sitting comfortably in my bus seat. I mean,
really. If the people of Facebook can bombard me
with the most mind-numbing details of their "full"
lives, than surely, I can return the favor with a
window into my cavernously empty
one...
That's right. I take candy from the mouths
of children and feel little guilt about it. This
is a call to join me in perpetuating a general
lack of social graces and maturity, just
because.
That's right. Transformers star Megan
Fox has a deep dark secret; a secret so vile that
it has actually forced me to reevaluate my lofty
criterion as to whether I'd never be in the
position ever in my life to have sex with a person
like her. That secret?-- TOE THUMBS. Join me
for a full investigation. Or 30 seconds of
investigation and five minutes of retardation and
nonsensical absurdity.
Is it a blanket? Is it the last piece
of an overall ensemble perfect for practicing the
blackest druid magic? Or is it just a
waste of three minutes you'll never get back?
WHY, IT'S ALL THREE~! So, ya, I sent a
special *celebrity* Product Testimonial to
the good people at Slanket. They never mailed
back. Weird. |
